At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
