You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
