I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
