she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Text me some of your sweat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
