Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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