I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
