Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
