OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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