the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
