I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
