I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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