You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
