What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
