we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
