Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
