Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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