and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
