okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
