The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Im part way to drunk.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
