I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
