we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this will be a night to untag.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just found out that she named her cat after me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
