Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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