I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
