he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
