Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
try to milk me bitch
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
