nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
