Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
