My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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