Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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