I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
