Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
