Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Say something about gay babies.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
