where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
