I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
