if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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