so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
