I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
