2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
