you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
