You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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