jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
