you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
