Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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