Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
