Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
