i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
