Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
