My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
