You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
