I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
