all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
